Eight years old = Baptism

Seeing my Bee Bum turned 8 this past summer, she was also baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Her daddy was able to do the baptism and confirmation.  And, I can’t lie…. I bawled like a baby.

Eric did WONDERFULLY!!  The baptism was perfectly done on the first try, and her Confirmation Blessing was so powerful that I felt the spirit more strongly than I have in so many years!  It was about 3 minutes long and was AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMAZING.  It reminded me of how much I loved the way he loved Bailee.

She was Baptized on Saturday August 6th.  So many family members from both sides were there.  Mike’s parents even attended.  It was such a special time for the Goo.

Please enjoy these special photos of my eight year old daughters baptism.

After her baptism we went to a park in Washington City and had a picnic.  It was amazing.

I love Bailee and I love Eric and his family.  They are really special to me.  I am grateful that we have been able to maintain our close friendship over the past few years!

Bailee’s 8th Birthday 7/25/11

I know I haven’t posted in ages.

I am hoping it’ll change now that I have my OWN computer.

I had Bailee for her birthday this summer.  On her birthday we did the firework thing and the following day we went to Lagoon.  She also went to the Zoo, the Aquarium and Cowabunga Bay with Mike during her ‘birthday week’.

Here are the pictures of her birthday.

 

 

Bailee had a really good time on her birthday.  And I cannot believe I have an 8 year old!

Update on Jami's life

Jeez.

Summer is over.

It flew right by for me.

Seeing I spent it laid up the entire time.

Bailee had a good time in St. George and is now in 3rd Grade in a new school.

She absolutely LOVES this school.  She says it's her favorite from all the rest. (Phew...seeing she'll be there for a while)

I am still out of work on disability.  I am aching to go back though.  I am bored doing nothing.

Disability pays barely enough to cover my portion of the bills.  Actually, I don't think it even pays that.

My anxiety has dramatically improved, though.  And I've been on my heart meds long enough that my resting heart rate is normal most of the time.

I am still having a bunch of issues that need to be dealt with though.  I am starting therapy sessions on Monday.  I have bittersweet feelings about that... It'll be good for me to be able to talk to someone with an unbiased opinion though.

I have KILLER insomnia when I'm not on my Xanax.  Last night I didn't fall asleep until about 5 am.  And I had to get up at 7 to get Bailee ready for school.  I try napping after she leaves...but it has been unsuccessful as of late.

Bailee is on a kick of coming into our room to sleep every night, in the middle of the night.  She's been doing it since she got home from St. George.  Adjusting?  I don't know.  She sure doesn't help with the insomnia... She seems to always come in just after I finally doze off.  And then she tosses and turns and hogs up my space... haha.  One day I'll look back on this and laugh, and miss her crawling into bed with me.

Mike and I just passed our 17 month mark.  Things are going good.  I'm surprised at how much he puts up with me.  I know it's got to be a drag having me out of work and being depressed and anxious all the time.

I'll say this much:  I'd SUCK as a housewife... I can't keep our place clean or keep up on the chores everyday to save my life!  I am a full couch potato.

So- I also broke my tailbone a little over a month ago.  I am still in so much excruciating pain.  I am really hoping it'll start to feel better soon.  However, I am doubtful, seeing it hurts as much or more than it did when it happened.

I cannot wait until Fall.

Mid to High 70's isn't fall people.  50's-60's is.

Fall needs to hurry up and get here so that our power bill can go down.

I have also basically become hermit.  My doctor added "social anxiety" to my list of problems during my last visit.

She's right on with that!

I have panic attacks just going to the store!

And to top it all off.  I have gained a TON since June.

The meds I'm on have the side effect of weight gain.

However, I can't blame it all on the medication.

This is why I need the cooler temps!  So that I can get out and at least go for a walk!

Tomorrow night will be the first time I've gone out with a friend since June.... And of course I'm anxious.

I'm anxious because I'm broke.

I'm anxious because there will be people around.

I'm anxious because of the weight I've gained.

See!  Social anxiety!

I am serious about getting better.

I miss my work buddies...even though I've heard a lot have jumped ship since I've been on leave.

I miss my freedom and I miss.....my life.  (to some extent)

Thankfully I am (hopefully) going to be turning a new leaf and becoming a better 'me'.

Did I mention I just adore and love Mike?  He's been so patient and caring.  I couldn't have asked for a better man to have been placed in my life.

Ok, Ok...this has all been just a ramble and I'm sure I have bored you to death.

I hope you are all well!

Update on Health

Things on my health front haven't been getting any better. My anxiety is causing more stress on my heart than it's worth.  My doctor took me out of work for 3 months to relax and to deal with the changing of medication that I'm going to be going through.

I miss Bailee.  I hate that I am out of work and she's not here with me.  Granted- I wouldn't be relaxing as much chasing her around.  That, and listening to how much fun she is having makes me happy for her.

We are headed down to St. George tomorrow to spend the weekend with her.  I am really excited to see her.  She brings so much life to me.

Basically now I am waiting on my Short Term Disability to go into effect so that I can get paid while I am off of work.

I am so bored.  I sleep till 12-2 and then just lay on the couch like a veggie.  I am on strict rules not to exercise too hard because my resting heart rate is around 130.  If I push it too heard who knows what'll happen.  I've already been told that if my heart rate isn't better by July 11th then I'll be put on heart medication to slow my heart rate.

I can't wait to start swimming regularly.  I need it.  It is zen for me.

Mike has been such a rock for me.  I know that this is in no way easy for him to watch me struggle.  But he wants to be there for me and he wants to see me get well and help me in anyway that he can.  That means more to me than anything.

Here's hoping for a speedy recovery so that I can be back at work in NO TIME!!  I love sleeping in, but I hate being lazy and just sitting around all day.

Goo Blues

It's been awhile since I posted.  I was looking forward to posting more frequently.... But, I've been delayed... Computer issues, spending time with the Goo, and health issues.

Bailee left to St. George for the summer last night.  And I am already missing her like crazy.  Acutally... I have been missing her like crazy since she left!  I called Eric about 40 minutes after they drove away and said, "Okay!  You've had your fun! It's time to bring her back now!"   ....needless to say- it didn't work.

I've got a case of the Goo Blues.   And I don't see them going away anytime soon.  My house is quiet and I am bored!

Oh  baby girl!  Mama misses you soooooooo very much!!

At least I know that she is having a whole lot more fun in St. George this summer than she'd have here. As one co-worker quoted today (from an adoption add none the less) ...... I am not giving her up, I'm giving her more.

So- can summer be over now???  I am ready for her to be back HOME with her Mommy!!!

Chasing Dreams

So-

Today I was sitting at work wishing more for myself.  So, I decided that I was going to finally chase my dreams.  I am tired of sitting around waiting for life to happen.

As of right now- I have applied for college.  Only 10 years after graduating High School... But, hey!  Better late than never!

Plus- It's not like I haven't been doing something with my life the past 10 years.  I have obtained some pretty hard licenses in Finance.  (Series 7 and 66)

I'm happy with where I have been... But, disappointed in the fact that I let my dream sit on the back-burner.

Anway... Look at me!

Setting out to get my Edumacation!!

Wish Me Luck!  I am sure it's not going to be easy being a Full-time Employee, Full-time Mommy, and Full-time student... But, I'm superwoman... I can do this!!!

Full-Time Employee -slash- Mom and Sorta-Wife

Holy moly!!!

Life is exhausting.  There, I said it.

Life is incredibly exhausting. 

I didn't realize how much more tired I'd be throwing in a full-time relationship to the mix.  I mean- I've done this all before.  (the being married, working 40 hours, being a mommy) sort-of-thing.

But, I'm not married.  Bailee isn't Mike's child.

I don't really know how this is perceived to be different.  He helps out with her more than I do at most times.  But- I am exhausted.

Maybe it's the fact that I am used to getting up, getting Goo up, going to work/school.... Getting off work, picking up Bee...going home and doing our own din-din/bedtime routine.

Possibly this new routine of moving further from school/work... Working an earlier shift (I was working at 8am and have changed in the past week to a 7am shift)... etc has added to this new level of exhaustion...

I don't know.

All I know is that I'm tired.  I am trying my hardest to be a super employee, a super mom, and a super "sorta" wife...(ok, I'm JUST a girlfriend...who knows when that will ever (if ever) change)

But- I can also state that I am happy. 

I am incredibly happy.

I just keep hoping on the Question.

Damn the Question.

A new start...A new blog...

I used to be so great at blogging.  I would blog almost every day.  Sometimes a few times a day.

But then I got divorced.  I got depressed.  I got lonely.  And I didn't care about updating a stupid blog.

Things are much different now-  I am in a new place... Mentally and Physically.

I am.....

Happy.

I would love to try and find the inner desire to blog again... and I thought I'd start a NEW blog.

Guess we'll see how this goes...

Wish me LUCK!