Update on Jami's life

Jeez.

Summer is over.

It flew right by for me.

Seeing I spent it laid up the entire time.

Bailee had a good time in St. George and is now in 3rd Grade in a new school.

She absolutely LOVES this school.  She says it's her favorite from all the rest. (Phew...seeing she'll be there for a while)

I am still out of work on disability.  I am aching to go back though.  I am bored doing nothing.

Disability pays barely enough to cover my portion of the bills.  Actually, I don't think it even pays that.

My anxiety has dramatically improved, though.  And I've been on my heart meds long enough that my resting heart rate is normal most of the time.

I am still having a bunch of issues that need to be dealt with though.  I am starting therapy sessions on Monday.  I have bittersweet feelings about that... It'll be good for me to be able to talk to someone with an unbiased opinion though.

I have KILLER insomnia when I'm not on my Xanax.  Last night I didn't fall asleep until about 5 am.  And I had to get up at 7 to get Bailee ready for school.  I try napping after she leaves...but it has been unsuccessful as of late.

Bailee is on a kick of coming into our room to sleep every night, in the middle of the night.  She's been doing it since she got home from St. George.  Adjusting?  I don't know.  She sure doesn't help with the insomnia... She seems to always come in just after I finally doze off.  And then she tosses and turns and hogs up my space... haha.  One day I'll look back on this and laugh, and miss her crawling into bed with me.

Mike and I just passed our 17 month mark.  Things are going good.  I'm surprised at how much he puts up with me.  I know it's got to be a drag having me out of work and being depressed and anxious all the time.

I'll say this much:  I'd SUCK as a housewife... I can't keep our place clean or keep up on the chores everyday to save my life!  I am a full couch potato.

So- I also broke my tailbone a little over a month ago.  I am still in so much excruciating pain.  I am really hoping it'll start to feel better soon.  However, I am doubtful, seeing it hurts as much or more than it did when it happened.

I cannot wait until Fall.

Mid to High 70's isn't fall people.  50's-60's is.

Fall needs to hurry up and get here so that our power bill can go down.

I have also basically become hermit.  My doctor added "social anxiety" to my list of problems during my last visit.

She's right on with that!

I have panic attacks just going to the store!

And to top it all off.  I have gained a TON since June.

The meds I'm on have the side effect of weight gain.

However, I can't blame it all on the medication.

This is why I need the cooler temps!  So that I can get out and at least go for a walk!

Tomorrow night will be the first time I've gone out with a friend since June.... And of course I'm anxious.

I'm anxious because I'm broke.

I'm anxious because there will be people around.

I'm anxious because of the weight I've gained.

See!  Social anxiety!

I am serious about getting better.

I miss my work buddies...even though I've heard a lot have jumped ship since I've been on leave.

I miss my freedom and I miss.....my life.  (to some extent)

Thankfully I am (hopefully) going to be turning a new leaf and becoming a better 'me'.

Did I mention I just adore and love Mike?  He's been so patient and caring.  I couldn't have asked for a better man to have been placed in my life.

Ok, Ok...this has all been just a ramble and I'm sure I have bored you to death.

I hope you are all well!